Sunday, January 5, 2014

A million things that bug me...

1) people who put mayonnaise on their bread.
2) soundless farts.
3) forcing alcohol on me.
4) people telling me I should smile.
5) bread crumbs in my butter.
6) cat under my car.
7) burglars.
8) exams.
9) noisy farts.

10) lip reading. Like seriously, I have never deciphered one.
11) disloyal friends.
12) garden eggs... synonymous with maggots.
13) calorie watching.
15) pancakes.
17) Sylvester Stallone still acting movies.
18) stink farts.
19) hunger games.
20) senseless bbm broadcasts.
21) seeing brown floaties in the loo.
22) forgetting I wore exact outfit to same place.
23) stereotypes.
24) dumb people acting smart.
25) caring about visible pant lines when I wear skirts or trousers.
26) empty churches with loudspeakers.
27) guys that snore.
28) odourless fart... as bad as carbon monoxide poisoning.
29) nicknames "Emekus", "Dicko", any name that ends in "-lala" suffix.
30) cleaning my right ear.
31)"GGMUB", "GBU", "LLNP", "IJN".
32) sitting in a spot for 20minutes stretch.
33) Q: what's up?   A: "the sky".
34) explaining my bbm dps.
35) people who think they read me.
36) being home alone!!!
37) weighing scales.
38) female drivers.
39) being quoted.
40) customer care, Nigeria.
41) Justin Bieber fans.
42) banks.
43) "with all due respect". Except when I say that.
44) cannibalistic PDA kisses.
45) police.

........but then, that moment when I see YOUR name in my 'incoming call' register, this crazy world pauses and I forget a million and one things........

... and paragraph above is a.k.a, killing 6 birds with one stone.

46) that you expected a million bugs.



  1. People who 'love' all up in your faces and their updates....
    People who want u to know their life by the second....
    My sister changing a perfectly good programme to watch a self-obsessed tranny look-alike, mouth off and have an opinion about everything...
    Making others walk on eggshells around you by making a 'bug' list........ -___-

  2. And........she's back with a bang! Good job! Although one has to wonder, what's your pre-occupation with farts? And With All Due Respect, your bbm broadcasts are the most senseless there is.
    How dare you say, and I QUOTE, "I am bugged by female drivers?" Read My Lips, you just set back the women's lib movt by a hundred years! As for your issue with VPLs and Justin Bieber fans, I totally Read You dude. Both equally annoying, useless, and difficult to get rid of. But seriously luv, you're becoming too cynical, you need to SMILE more often. Tip for the new year: more happy juice (go on, drink up, you're a big girl now). And maybe a little less calories? I mean, you still have bread and butter in your fridge? What a shame! Always thought you were smarter than that, but maybe you're just one of those Dumb people who act smart all the time. Chidi-lala!!! You know I'm only joking, don't you? I'm you're ever loyal friend. Anyway, I've said too much already. Off to the cinema to watch a Sylvester Stallone movie. GBU, WULLNP, IJN.
    PS: I did expect a million bugs. People not living up to MY expectations? That crap bugs ME!

    1. You truly are a little fart darlyn.

    2. Here forgot ur chill pill. You know you get aggressive without them. Go on drink up and then take several large seats at the cinema Didi, yes I know your size (advising someone abt losing calories n shii. LoooL) ..and pick up your titties too, they're all over the place. LOL!
      All said with love dear

    3. Lmaoooooo! And why am I just seeing this???
      Thanks Troll. You are awesome. Her tittle though! Lol.

  3. ....things that bug me about this post...that a certain paragraph kills 6 birds with one stone...