Thursday, October 25, 2012

Brassieres

Brassieres!!!
Also known as You-Raise-Me-Up-So-I-Can-Stand-On-Mountains.
Brassieres also known as bras.
You can't hate but love them. (pun intended).
Growing up, I never wished to wear them ‘cos they felt like old-women’s garment. I preferred my good old bandeau.
These days though, I say... 3 hearty cheers to the man who invented the bra!!! Whoooooootttt! That man/woman I pray you made heaven. Of course not for my sake!!! My girls are glorious, haughty and proud! Hehehehee.
But for that angel who invented the bra, where would the modern day woman’s pride be? Where??? In the gutters more often than not.

First let me say this does not apply to all women. Of cos not. I'm of the school of thought that doesn’t believe that all women should wear bras. Take for instance; some women have breasts that consist of only nipples. Big nipples. What business do these women have with wearing a bra for goodness sakes? The bra is definitely not supporting ish. Okay, like one of my nipple-endowed friends will say, she wears bras hide her nipple. Okay!!! Understood. Fair point.

Anywoiz, before I digress, I'm dedicating this piece to those ladies who wear bras to raise the “down-throdden”. Oh boy! For the sake of those women, I give glory to the inventor of the BRASSIERE. Most have been a French man! Those men romantic die!!! Kai.

Behold I digress again.
You see, as far as a woman knows how to “package”, we have defeated the apparent flat boobs.
 I saw this chica; her boobs were like OMG. I mean! They were just unnaturally massive. If you see this girl in her nighties (of ‘cos braless) you will sympathise with her. The things are just bewilderingly humongous. Without a bra {a good bra} her twins are below her navel...no jokes mahn!
 But see this chica in the morning nauuu... by then her twins will be saluting and singing You-Raise-Me-Up-So-I-Can-Stand-On-Mountains.
But still, there are some girls who still no sabi package. They wear bras and it’s like they are wearing a wrapper...still no improvement.
Thee problems associated with bad bras are that the take away fitting from clothes, they make the wearer uncomfortable too and they make onlookers confused.

See ehn, in my own opinion, a good bra is alike a faithful friend. A faithful friend is there for you to lift you up when you are downJ ; to be closest to you at all times, to support you, to make you look good in the eyes of the world. Those are the qualities of a good bra and those are the qualities a good friend. :D

Now let me let you into a secret...at this point, if you are a dude you can just go straight to the comment side, drop any comment and getting stepping. But then, there is a clause, keep reading if you are one of those guys that have man boobs. (tongue-out) .
If you are a chica, or a dude with moobs (man boobs), oya, continue...

A good bra has qualities. Those numbers and alphabets are not just fancy words and numerals people just put on the label to make it fancy and catchy.
In wearing a bra, 1st, you must know your bra size.
Now listen ohh, write in down, save this link, use your screen muncher if you must ‘cos we not fans of umbilical-boobs.

According to a stylist I don’t know: to know your bra is ill-fitting
Back of the bra rides up (should be midway between shoulder and elbow)
Center doesn’t sit on your breastbone
Sagging boobs
Discomfort
Breast spillage
Both boobs appear as one
Band pinches at sides
These are important in getting the right fitting bra. Oya.

Now 1st of all, ... go down lowww {J sorry could not resist}... that’s for those who understand sha.
Okay, 1st of all
Stand straight and relax. Don’t inhale or expand your ribcage.
In above position, use a measuring tape and get diameter of distance beneath your breasts. Place tape right beneath curve of your boobs and take entire diameter (that is front to back oh).
For example, if diameter is 31”, add 5.
31+5= 36. Tada! That’s your band size
To get cup measurement, wear a bra, measure diameter using the highest point of your boobs (the nipples of course). So, measure right round with tape running from nipple-back-nipple.
For example you get 39”
Now, subtract : 39–36=3.
Read, cram, screen munch wareva. Now this is the important part>>>
0 = AA
1=A
2=B
3=C
4=D
5=DD
6=DDD
So using my examples, person above is a 36C :) .

That means I have a friend who is a 34AA. Hehehehehehe.

Alright darlings... thank me later.

Ehn, btw, if you know you have gained from this post I want four Wacoal® bras for Christmas.

Tuddles.

9 comments:

  1. ℓ☺ℓ Dr of Bra. interesting!
    But sometimes,the same person may wear different cup size(depending on the make)

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  2. After using the measuring tape to get my right size,I bought a bra and it still didn't fit especially the cup.Is there something am missing?

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  3. After using the measuring tape to get my right size,I bought a bra and it still didn't fit especially the cup.Is there something am missing?

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  4. Nl... Still writing?
    'Moobs'. Chai! LWTMB...

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  5. You forget to add their decorative value,I'd much rather open a blouse to a sexy,lace bra than to striaght chest, it adds further adventures to the "journey" lol

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  6. Good post! This is the kind of information that should be distributed on the online community. I would like to read more of this.

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  7. I see you guys all gained from the post?
    I expect 7 Wacoal bras then?

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  8. If my boobs are bending down low as far beyond my umblicus, where is d highest point of my boobs (nipples of course)?

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